We would never want to suggest that alcohol can solve all the world’s problems. But, for those having trouble keeping their pants on, we would strongly recommend just a small dose of the Pantius Droppus. It’s made by The Ellicottville Brewing Company of Ellicottville, New York. And for those having trouble with another person’s pants staying on, we would have to recommend the Panty Peeler (above). It’s not a small problem.

Here we have a bit of a condiment theme. Above is horseradish flavored vodka. And here is pickle flavored vodka. Probably not what your grandfather drank, back when vodka was vodka and pickles had little to do with it. At this point, we would guess that there are well over 75 flavors of vodka, above and beyond the common citrus and pepper flavored vodkas. Michel Roux correctly forecast this trend way back in 1996. The article is entitled “The future, according to the marketer of Stolichnaya, will be filled with flavored vodka.” Roux is frequently cited as the marketing force behind the rise of Absolut, Stolichnaya, Absente and many other brands. Garant Pickle Flavored Vodka is made in Russia and imported by Interbalt of Maryland. Natsionalnaya Horseradish Flavored Vodka is also made in Russia and is imported by Devo Enterprises of Horsham, Pennsylvania. How much longer until we have ketchup, mustard and wasabi flavored vodka?

It is likely that all beer, wine and spirits labels will change dramatically in the near future. TTB has been working on new rules since CSPI and other groups submitted a petition in 2003. The new rules would require a “Serving Facts” panel on every container. This panel would include a lot more information, such as the typical serving size, number of servings per container, calories, carbohydrates, protein and fat. Because this is a big, controversial change, TTB has received more than 18,000 public comments during the past few years. There are far too many comments for most people to review, and so we will highlight and summarize the most noteworthy comments here. The most recent proposal and comments are here. This is comment 16 in a series; to see others, click on the “serving facts” tag below. The Small Business Administration’s 2-page comment said:

1. information from WineAmerica indicates that the proposal would have a significant economic impact on a substantial number of small wineries, so the proposal can not be properly certified under the Regulatory Flexibility Act.
2. TTB estimated that lab analysis would cost about $250 per product, but the comment suggests it would be closer to $750 per product.
3. This suggest a 3.4% revenue impact for a very small winery (with $500,000 in revenue, about...

Cave Creek Chili Beer (above) is made with a “chili pepper added.” Near as we can tell, the Kansas Hot Pepper Wine is made mainly or solely from hot peppers. The labeling tends to suggest it’s fermented from peppers. But the form tends to suggest it is flavored grape wine (and this seems a bit more likely). Cave Creek is made in Mexico and imported by Alta Marketing of Redlands, California. Hot Cha Cha is produced and bottled by Dozier Vineyard & Winery of Ellinwood, Kansas.