business strategy

Sparks is all but dead. Today 13 Attorneys General announced a settlement with MillerCoors. The settlement covers this well-known brand of malt beverage with caffeine, taurine, guarana, ginseng — and essentially removes it from the US market. The old label, in use from about 2001 until today, is on the left side above. The new label is on the right. The battery symbols, caffeine (and other ingredients) are banished. The settlement calls for MillerCoors to reformulate Sparks and change the labels within three weeks. It also requires MillerCoors to pay $550,000 in fees within five days. Upon announcing the settlement earlier today, Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal said:

“Sparks is an insidious and insane drink that deservedly now is down the drain — like all stimulant-spiked alcoholic drinks should be,” Blumenthal said. “Beverages like Sparks are a witch’s brew of alcohol and caffeine, energizing drunks and encouraging dangerous, even deadly behavior. Common sense says a drink impairing judgment while conferring excess energy is a very bad idea. Studies show that these drinks lead to binge drinking, car crashes, sexual assaults and other risky behavior. They impair reactions and reasoning, but instill the illusion of alertness and energy.”

The settlement is so far-reaching, it even includes newer MillerCoors products such as Rize.

It is no surprise that the anti-alcohol forces of yore regarded alcohol beverages as a poison. Professor Hanson confirms that the Prohibitionists “taught that alcohol was a poison.” More recently, this 2008 lawsuit is replete with allegations that MillerCoors is selling poison. But it’s quite another thing when the purveyors themselves brand their products as Poizin. The above is a Sonoma County Zinfandel from Armida Winery. A second example is Poison Wild Berry Schnapps Liqueur, approved in 2002. These are not to be confused with Christian Dior Poison Eau de Toilette, or this. Contributor Lance M. weighed in as follows:

This Poizin, thankfully, will not kill you (well unless you are irresponsible and consume more than your fair share). Armida’s packaging of their Poizin is designed to draw your eye. The bottle is black with a red skull and crossbones prominently portrayed on the front of the label. The wine contained is a 2004 Zinfandel, though they continue to produce it on a regular basis, and other years are available. The thoughtful play on the words poison and zinfandel instantly draws your attention to it. There is some well written dark imagery of a supernatural winemaking process on the back label, that concludes with “Poizin,...

We thought this was a good example of target marketing, as opposed to a product like Budweiser that targets a far larger percentage of all alcohol beverage consumers. Pryde Vodka displays the historically significant pink triangle. Gay Pride beer was brewed in New Hampshire as of this 1999 approval. The third image is from a 2004 approval for Pride Lager made in California. There is very little sign, on the internet, that any of these brands are alive and well.