Every now and then, TTB likes to say stamps (and things looking like postage stamps) are not allowed. Don’t ask me why. Maybe they look like “government symbols” or endorsements. All I know for sure is that TTB has resisted, tooth and nail, on more than one occasion.
But if you have your heart set on using stamp imagery, it is well worth a try, as these many labels show. Benton-Lane is pinot noir from the Wilamette Valley. Times Ten is a cabernet-merlot blend from the Napa Valley. And here is Hardys Stamp of Australia Shiraz.
Mommy's Little Helper
Mommy is having a Midlife Crisis. Mommy’s Time Out is here to help, thank goodness.
More than forty years ago, the Rolling Stones astutely identified this trend in “Mother’s Little Helper“:
She goes running for the shelter
of a mother’s little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day
“Things are different today”
I hear every mother say.
The song tells the tale of a “little yellow pill” that helps mom through her busy day. Along comes Oskar Blues Brewery with Mama’s Little Yella Pils beer. It’s not exactly what Keith Richards and Mick Jagger had in mind (Valium or Quaaludes, according to this).
Even Santa needs some help from time to time.
What Would Spanky Drink?
Did you ever wonder what Spanky (aka George McFarland) would drink? Neither did we, until we saw this rash of wines devoted to and inspired by spanking.
It’s tough to beat Smack My Ass & call me Sally. It is red wine bottled by Clos La Chance of San Martin, California. The whole world wide web is insufficient to the task of explaining this term’s origin; the trail stops here. (Speaking of which, the small image at upper right is courtesy of All Things Spanking, and nobody should be surprised there is a site devoted entirely to “eclectic adult spanking.”)
Spank Me Pink is red wine with no appellation, produced by Lac Belle Amie of Elizabethtown, North Carolina. The Sisters patiently explain “when she’s good she’s bad, and when she’s bad she’s even better.” Refusing to be left out of the action, Tyranena Brewing slaps a Spank Me Baby! sticker on its barleywine ale labels.
In a stunning coincidence, we learn that long after Our Gang wrapped up in the 1940s, Spanky spent his later years selling — wine.
Wattle and Myrtle Beers
Barons Black Wattle is Australian Ale Brewed with Wattle Seed. The attractive graphics caught my eye at the beer store. And so, like Vic Cherikoff, I wanted to know: So What The Bloody Hell Is Wattleseed? It turns out that Cherikoff may well be the world’s foremost expert on this seed, and “world trends in Wattleseed use.” He explains:
For over 6000 years, Australian Aborigines in different clans around the country, parched and milled wattle seeds from around 100 of the 900 plus species of Acacia, then used the coarse flour in baked seed cakes. … Wattleseed is a great inclusion in anyone’s diet. It has an unusually low glycaemic index which means that the carbohydrates in it are slowly absorbed and therefore better for you than sugary, quick release alternatives.
Wikipedia explains that “Wattleseed is a term used to describe the edible seeds from around 120 species of Australian Acacia that were traditionally used as food by Australian Aborigines and they were eaten either green (and cooked) or dried (and milled to a flour) to make a type of bush bread.”
The same brewer uses another little-known ingredient in its Witbier. Barons adds lemon myrtle leaves along with the more common coriander seeds. Lemon myrtle is:
a flowering plant native to the subtropical rainforests of Queensland, Australia. … [It is] considered to have a “cleaner and sweeter” aroma than comparable sources of citral [such as lemongrass]. … Lemon myrtle is one of the well known bushfood flavours and is sometimes referred to as the “Queen of the lemon herbs”, with the new growth preferred for its sweetness.
Orgasmic Wines
It took a while, but one of us finally found a wine that hits the spot. It is G Spot wine. Turns out it’s been lurking in the Barossa Valley all this time. It is grenache wine imported by Joshua Tree Imports of Duarte, California.
Over in Washington’s Columbia Valley, the Naked Winery takes it one step further.
Disney Wines
Twenty years ago, wine was wine and Disney was Disney and there didn’t seem to be much overlap. Things change a lot.
Now Disney is on wine labels, grown at Disney vineyard, and sold at Disney parks. Winesooth brought this to our attention in the form of the Ratatouille Chardonnay. It has the little cartoon rat on the front label, along with a reference to Disney and Pixar. Back in 2007, Dow Jones said:
Next up: Disney is launching a wine label via Issaquah, Wash.-based Costco Wholesale Corp. that is based on its upcoming animated film “Ratatouille,” the tale of a rat who wants to become a French chef. The chardonnay, from the Burgundy region in France and bearing the Ratatouille name and likeness, will sell for $12.99.
Five weeks later, Bizzia reported:
They’ve come to their senses and plan to back out of the wine market before their wine ever hits store shelves.
Disney, with the help of Costco … , planned to market a wine named after their latest animated film, Ratatouille, with a label featuring the film’s main character, Remy the rat. In my post earlier this month, I questioned why the number one family and children’s brand would even consider slapping their brand name and character’s image on an alcoholic beverage. I thought the strategy went beyond the realm of all common sense. Turns out, I’m not the only one who felt that way.
Disney has been getting backlash from California winemakers and opponents of underage drinking. It seems the use of a cartoon character that may be considered to target children violates the California Wine Institute’s advertising code. At the same time, the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control opened a separate investigation into whether the Disney-Costco wine marketing program might have violated state liquor laws.
Alas, before a full-fledged PR nightmare began, Disney shelved its Ratatouille wine. Again, I ask, where was common sense during the development of this product? Didn’t anyone in any of the new product development meetings stand up and say, “Wait a minute. We’re Disney. Maybe promoting liquor isn’t the best way for us to go with our brand.” Maybe there were people who raised a red flag earlier in the process, but for some reason the plans went on full force until everyone else on the planet heard about it and said, “What the heck is Disney doing?”
What do you think? Do you think Disney made the right move by dumping Ratatouille wine? Do you think they were crazy for putting effort and money into Ratatouille wine in the first place?
