malt beverage

Dear Flying Dog, Please tell me about your battle. It sounds interesting. Sincerely, bevlog

The Road Dog Porter label mentions shit not less than five times. Who would have expected the Founders were fighting for a beer company’s right to say this, and who ever thought a beer company would go so far to claim it. The label says:

We spent four long years in court fighting for our first amendment right to display the phrase “Good Beer, No Shit” on every bottle of Road Dog. In honor of sticking it to the man…

Fermentarium has part of the story:

The real heart of the issue is … You can’t put something indecent on the label.  Unfortunately it is some guy in the government who gets to decide what’s considered obscene.  He might be cool or he might be the most uptight person in the world.  There is no way for the brewer to know.  You might consider something obscene, but others may find the label acceptable.  For example, is profanity considered obscene? In 2001, the State of Colorado said yes it is.  Flying Dog Brewery’s Road Dog Ale label was rejected because the label said “good beer… no shit”.  The ACLU and Flying Dog Brewery sued stating the...

Did you ever wonder what Spanky (aka George McFarland) would drink? Neither did we, until we saw this rash of wines devoted to and inspired by spanking. It’s tough to beat Smack My Ass & call me Sally. It is red wine bottled by Clos La Chance of San Martin, California. The whole world wide web is insufficient to the task of explaining this term’s origin; the trail stops here. (Speaking of which, the small image at upper right is courtesy of All Things Spanking, and nobody should be surprised there is a site devoted entirely to “eclectic adult spanking.”) Spank Me Pink is red wine with no appellation, produced by Lac Belle Amie of Elizabethtown, North Carolina. The Sisters patiently explain “when she’s good she’s bad, and when she’s bad she’s even better.” Refusing to be left out of the action, Tyranena Brewing slaps a Spank Me Baby! sticker on its barleywine ale labels. In a stunning coincidence, we learn that long after Our Gang wrapped up in the 1940s, Spanky spent his later years selling — wine.

If you’re getting a little weary of “Toasted Whole Wheat Flakes” it might be time to consider Lancaster Milt Stout. It’s made with lactose and without preservatives according to the label. Wki explains:

Milk stout (also called sweet stout or cream stout) is a stout containing lactose, a sugar derived from milk. Because lactose is unfermentable by beer yeast, it adds sweetness, body, and calories to the finished beer. Milk stout was claimed to be nutritious, and was given to nursing mothers, along with other stouts, such as Guinness. The classic surviving example of milk stout is Mackeson Stout, for which the original brewers claimed that “each pint contains the energising carbohydrates of 10 ounces of pure dairy milk”. In the period just after the Second World War when rationing was in place, the British government required brewers to remove the word “milk” from labels and adverts, and any imagery associated with milk.

Another choice, and not necessarily a good one, is Jersey Summer Breakfast Ale. It’s made by Cricket Hill Brewing of Fairfield, NJ. Their blog describes it as:

A breakfast ale as fresh and full with flavor as a day down by the shore. … Pairs as well with bacon and eggs as it does with a back...