Mommy is having a Midlife Crisis. Mommy’s Time Out is here to help, thank goodness. More than forty years ago, the Rolling Stones astutely identified this trend in “Mother’s Little Helper“:

She goes running for the shelter of a mother’s little helper And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day “Things are different today” I hear every mother say.

The song tells the tale of a “little yellow pill” that helps mom through her busy day. Along comes Oskar Blues Brewery with Mama’s Little Yella Pils beer. It’s not exactly what Keith Richards and Mick Jagger had in mind (Valium or Quaaludes, according to this). Even Santa needs some help from time to time.

Did you ever wonder what Spanky (aka George McFarland) would drink? Neither did we, until we saw this rash of wines devoted to and inspired by spanking. It’s tough to beat Smack My Ass & call me Sally. It is red wine bottled by Clos La Chance of San Martin, California. The whole world wide web is insufficient to the task of explaining this term’s origin; the trail stops here. (Speaking of which, the small image at upper right is courtesy of All Things Spanking, and nobody should be surprised there is a site devoted entirely to “eclectic adult spanking.”) Spank Me Pink is red wine with no appellation, produced by Lac Belle Amie of Elizabethtown, North Carolina. The Sisters patiently explain “when she’s good she’s bad, and when she’s bad she’s even better.” Refusing to be left out of the action, Tyranena Brewing slaps a Spank Me Baby! sticker on its barleywine ale labels. In a stunning coincidence, we learn that long after Our Gang wrapped up in the 1940s, Spanky spent his later years selling — wine.

It took a while, but one of us finally found a wine that hits the spot. It is G Spot wine. Turns out it’s been lurking in the Barossa Valley all this time. It is grenache wine imported by Joshua Tree Imports of Duarte, California. Over in Washington’s Columbia Valley, the Naked Winery takes it one step further.

Twenty years ago, wine was wine and Disney was Disney and there didn’t seem to be much overlap. Things change a lot. Now Disney is on wine labels, grown at Disney vineyard, and sold at Disney parks. Winesooth brought this to our attention in the form of the Ratatouille Chardonnay. It has the little cartoon rat on the front label, along with a reference to Disney and Pixar. Back in 2007, Dow Jones said:

Next up: Disney is launching a wine label via Issaquah, Wash.-based Costco Wholesale Corp. that is based on its upcoming animated film “Ratatouille,” the tale of a rat who wants to become a French chef. The chardonnay, from the Burgundy region in France and bearing the Ratatouille name and likeness, will sell for $12.99.

Five weeks later, Bizzia reported:

They’ve come to their senses and plan to back out of the wine market before their wine ever hits store shelves. Disney, with the help of Costco … , planned to market a wine named after their latest animated film, Ratatouille, with a label featuring the film’s main character, Remy the rat.  In my post earlier this month, I questioned why the number one family and children’s brand would even consider slapping their brand name and character’s image on an...