Perhaps I should have known these labels were about something other than a “British Star of Stage” or a male chicken. But somebody needed to tell me they were also about . . . male body parts. It just so happens there are a lot of alcohol beverage labels about male body parts, all of a sudden. Since this blog tries to cover a wide variety of issues pertaining to alcohol beverages, we thought we would hold them back no longer. We have decided to start gingerly, with these two rather genteel labels, before going quite a bit further in coming days. Consider this your warning to avert your gaze if need be. It is not for nothing that they are called adult beverages. And it is not always the lady parts that get all the attention on alcohol beverage labels. Both John Thomas Red and The Devil’s Rooster are beer made by Manchester Brewing of Concord, New Hampshire. The first term is explained here. I am not certain that the second is about the same, though a friend tells me it is (and what else could it suggest?). I am, however, quite sure this overtly risque label is about the same general topic.http://bevlog.bevlaw.com/tag/sexualContinue Reading Leave a Comment
Here it is, in all its glory, at long last. TTB’s “areola” policy. From time to time, depending on the circumstances, TTB will say these particular body parts are “obscene” or “indecent” and must be covered. Here is a recent example of such a rejection. It says “Please cover the areolas on the woman.” And these, by way of another example, are certainly well covered. The label above is Amethystos dry white wine, from the Drama region of Greece.Continue Reading Leave a Comment
One might assume that beer + naked women is a nearly unstoppable combination. But it did not work out that way for Coast Range Brewing. It looks like the Gilroy, California purveyor of Nude Beer is long gone. Their last COLA was in 2006 and their last Nude Beer approval was in 2004. There is no sign of the company at the web address above. In all, the company got about 23 approvals for Nude Beer before fading away. Coast Range provides a clear lesson that it takes a lot more than unclothed women to sell beer. In case it’s not obvious from the above image, the idea is that you buy the beer and then peel off part of the label to reveal a woman with little if any clothing. A slightly blurred example is at the end of this sentence but don’t click it if you don’t want to see nudity. This kind of stickering is a good option for companies that want to show something more than the government and retailers might otherwise allow. We wanted to capture it before it fades into ancient history. This also shows that the system has a lot of checks and balances, such as the market, and the government doesn’t need to carry the entire...Continue Reading Leave a Comment
It’s been a long time since any single wine label got as much press as the one above. We don’t want to rehash the Cycles Gladiator story yet one more time; it is well told here for example. Instead, we are curious about the lines dividing art, free speech and obscenity. TTB is regularly called upon to judge these matters. Today, it’s your turn to judge. Please take a peek (if you dare) and report your opinion in the poll below. A quick view of all four labels is here (this is the fastest and easiest view, for the poll).
Take Our Poll Another view, showing the full label approval for each product, is below.
- A. Cycles Gladiator Red Wine
- B. Toogood Foreplay Red Wine
- C. Mendielle Vertu Merlot
- D. Naughty Nancy’s Nut Brown Ale
Go ahead and vote in the poll or comment or both.Continue Reading Leave a Comment
It’s not just the bikinis. Honestly. It’s also the heathens in the background, the witty writing, the just-right art. In very little time and space, this label tells quite a story. The back label for the 2008 Cycle Buff Beauty Australian Malbec intones:
Like a 32 inch waist in a fat man store, Misfit Wine Co. doesn’t fit in. … The Cycle Buff Beauty, a tale of escape. How two exquisite beauties escape the clutches of heathen hands that would nave otherwise squeezed all life from their precious bodies. This Malbec Shiraz is a tribute to those who held onto their precious rose and escaped the clutches of those who just don’t know.
I wasn’t sure what to think about this raw tale. The fenceviewer blog tries to size it up, saying:
Cycle Buff Beauty is, beyond doubt, the kookiest wine we have ever sampled. Also, one of the better ones. … Goes well with steak; ideally suited for brontosaurus. … It is almost as full-bodied and raucous as the bodacious babes on the label. … [It] has attitude [and] astonishing label art.
This story of narrowly escaped rape and murder probably would not be shocking on a TV show in this day and age, but it still makes for a very...Continue Reading Leave a Comment
Poor TTB. They have to make a decision about every cotton-picking label that comes down the pike. And every now and then they have to bite their tongue and affirmatively approve labels they might otherwise prefer to ignore. By contrast, FDA can simply ignore all the inconvenient labels. But for the requirement to review and approve every alcohol beverage label before it goes to market, TTB could have tried to ignore the naked lady in flagrante delicto on the Cantillon label. The State of Missouri was not amused and filed a complaint, in the late 1990s, charging that the label is obscene: “The label for Gambrinus shows a drawing of a naked woman, with breasts visible, seated on the lap of a figure alleged to be Gambrinus, the Flemish mythological ‘king of beer.’” After a hearing, the Commissioner apparently decided the label did not violate Missouri law, and other states came to a similar conclusion. The Commissioner had the choice to ignore the label. The current federal law often leads directly to TTB affirmatively approving a motley collection of Leghumpers and Ball Busters. Somehow I doubt the drafters of the FAA Act envisioned this scenario.Continue Reading Leave a Comment