wine

TTB typically does not allow wine labels to say much about the alcohol content or strength — except in the normal alcohol by volume statement. So we were surprised that The Drunken Goat, and his n’er-do-well friend, Le Drunk Rooster, would show up on a couple of wine labels. We pretty much expected them to show up, sooner or later, on a spirits label. But not on a wine or beer label, where TTB has historically and fairly vigorously discouraged alcohol content claims. While the goat and rooster are carousing around, notable is the absence of any drunk humans out and about on approved labels. Unless you count this guy, the toothless fellow on the label for Rocky Mountain Moonshine Sippin’ Hooch. It is distilled from beets and the label suggests “Once tasted, you too will become hooked!” Box 19 surprisingly declares that “The man is no longer ‘drunk’ appearing.” If he’s sober I’d like to see the other version.

Maybe the world is not in such a sorry state after all, if there is room for outrage about a few beers named after exits on the New Jersey Turnpike. Various media report that MADD was alarmed about Flying Fish Brewing Company’s new Exit 4 beer, named after the nearest highway exit. Google already has well over 8,000 hits for this puny controversy. MADD is apparently concerned about linking driving with drinking, or condoning the same. But even the most cursory review shows that the link here, and the impropriety, are tenuous to put it mildly. Speaking of tenuous connections, it will be difficult for Flying Fish to find a connection between the unique aspects of 29 exits, and 29 distinctive beers. This is well evidenced by Exit 11, the second in the series; the connection is that both relate to … a confluence. Plenty of other labels highlight a highway or exit. Side Pocket Foods has about 10 Exit 172 labels. This Weibel wine celebrates Route 66, and this Oak Ridge wine pays homage to Route 88. And here is Route 3 Chardonnay. There is no reason for MADD to be alarmed about any of them.

The industry submits a large number of “bastard” labels. From 2000-2009, TTB approved 124 labels featuring this word in the brand or fanciful name. This is about six times the number of such labels approved from 1980 to 2000. This is another example of how TTB has tended to ease up in certain areas, and will allow terms a bit more racy than many expect.

Cheap Bastard Red Wine is bottled by Pedrizzetti Winery of Morgan Hill, California. Backwoods Bastard is Ale Aged in Bourbon Barrels, bottled by Canal Street Brewing, of Grand Rapids, Michigan. We probably wouldn’t bother to comment on the preponderance of “bastard” labels. But the numbers are growing, and some of them have more issues going for them, apart from the naughty word. Arrogant Bastard Ale has some better than usual writing on the back label:

This is an aggressive ale. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territory — maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it’s made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow...