Beer.  With. Vegetables. Popcorn. Fruit. Spices. Raisins. Honey. And Malted Milk Balls. Wow. Eccentric indeed. If anyone (excluding this joker) drank a whole bottle and lived to tell about it, please confess below.

First there was Miller Lite, at about 96 calories per 12 ounces (back around 1975). In later years the non-alcoholic malt beverages (or “near beers”) became more common, with leading brands such as Clausthaler and Kaliber at about 80 calories (as per Skilnik). Now, in the past year, it appears we have a race to the bottom. That is, Miller Genuine Draft 64 came out about a year ago. It is, not surprisingly, 64 calories per 12 ounces (and 2.8% alc./vol.). Lower and more recent still is Bud Select 55. It is only 55 calories and 2.4% alc./vol. This is one important trend over the past 34 years. In a future post we will look at a countervailing trend toward very high calorie/alcohol malt beverages. All of this leads us to wonder, where will this go in the next 34 years? When the Jonas Brothers hit middle age, will they be drinking Bud Exträ Epic Mega Select 11 (down near the lower limits for the legal definition of beer)? Hops flavored Perrier?

TTB is not likely to allow anything labeled as “energy beer” anytime soon. But that doesn’t mean there is any shortage of beer tinged with caffeine. Notwithstanding the demise of Sparks and Tilt, there is a big upsurge in beers with added caffeine, guarana, tea, yerba mate — and coffee. Today, coffee. Pipeline Porter is made with 100% Hawaiian Kona Coffee according to the label. Joe is brewed with coffee, by Philadelphia Brewing Company of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Yeti is stout aged on oak chips with coffee added. The front label pretty much suggests serving it with breakfast. None of these labels mention energy, stimulants, caffeine, or the amount of caffeine, so the consumer is left to guess. My grandpa Joe never dreamed of beer mixed with coffee or any other alcohol beverage that would perk him up.

We got to thinking that the much-ballyhooed swimsuit issue, published in Sports Illustrated every winter, might shed some light on trends in the economy, alcohol beverage advertising, and print advertising more generally. In the past, the swimsuit issue has been a prime place for beer and spirits advertising. This year’s issue is 178 pages, chock full of bikinis. Only 7.3 pages are devoted to alcohol beverage ads. This is nearly a 50% drop off from two years ago, when the economy (and print advertising) were flying a lot higher. A big part of this is due to one brand. Budweiser advertising was at seven pages in 2007 and down to a skimpy two pages in 2009. Almost all of the 2009 ads seem to be customized for the swimsuit edition. Back in 2007, it was about half and half. There is essentially no wine advertising in any of these three issues, and beer accounts for 2/3 while spirits are at about 1/3. Herewith, two of the better alcbev-centric ads tailored to this magazine.

The text on this Glenlivet Scotch ad may be hard to read, and is worth repeating. It says:

THE GLENLIVET was ESTABLISHED when SWIMWEAR was a lady’s SAFEGUARD from the elements. Back in 1824, even the SLIGHTEST display of ANKLE could put the FIRE in...

Maybe the world is not in such a sorry state after all, if there is room for outrage about a few beers named after exits on the New Jersey Turnpike. Various media report that MADD was alarmed about Flying Fish Brewing Company’s new Exit 4 beer, named after the nearest highway exit. Google already has well over 8,000 hits for this puny controversy. MADD is apparently concerned about linking driving with drinking, or condoning the same. But even the most cursory review shows that the link here, and the impropriety, are tenuous to put it mildly. Speaking of tenuous connections, it will be difficult for Flying Fish to find a connection between the unique aspects of 29 exits, and 29 distinctive beers. This is well evidenced by Exit 11, the second in the series; the connection is that both relate to … a confluence. Plenty of other labels highlight a highway or exit. Side Pocket Foods has about 10 Exit 172 labels. This Weibel wine celebrates Route 66, and this Oak Ridge wine pays homage to Route 88. And here is Route 3 Chardonnay. There is no reason for MADD to be alarmed about any of them.